Interested Observer

Do you think about changes that you’d like to make? Do you have days where you vow you will never do (or say) something to someone again, like you did today? Do you wish you could change your outlook or your attitude?

Most of us do. We do the things we don’t want to do, and don’t often do the things we know we should (and want to!) do. How come? Why does each day go by when we set out with the best of intentions but end up frustrated that we haven’t met our desired state?

Last week I was interviewed on a very lively nighttime talk show in a major city. I’ve been asked often lately to comment on the “Occupy” movements in different cities, and I thought that would be the direction of our conversation. Instead, the host had a number of insights and ideas he wanted to share with his listeners, and he was talking about many difficulties that the unemployed and lower-level employed are facing. Next, he took a call from a listener who vehemently disagreed with his line of thinking and his insights.

The other day I was driving with a colleague of mine to a meeting, and we came to a four-way STOP intersection. Where I live these are everywhere, and the “courtesy” is that you have to wait your turn. Each car at each of the four stops gets a chance to go in order, and then the next one, and the next one. For the most part, the system works pretty well. On this particular day, we were sitting waiting for our turn and when it came, and we started to go left, the car across from us (turning right to go on the same street) went out of turn and went in front of us.

I was in a restaurant the other day and a little boy, around 6 years old, was giving his mother a very hard time. She was getting more and more frustrated. He said something to her that she obviously didn’t like, and she responded in a loud voice, “Watch your mouth!” She peppered her statements with a few choice words that I cannot repeat here in my blog, but suffice to say that she probably wasn’t watching her own mouth very well at that point!

The dictionary definition for the word “compassion” is a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering. We tend to approach compassion only when we are feeling sorry for someone or sympathizing with their pain.

I have a new client that recently acquired another company. They are trying to integrate practices, ideas and ways to work together by bringing two separate units together into one. As I work with the management of this newly combined company, I am reminded again how critical knowing another person’s values and trying to refrain from making a “values” argument really is.