Beverly Flaxington's blog

 Playing the role of “Interested Observer” is not just important when we are dealing with another person and watching our communication and interaction. Interested Observing can also pertain to watching my own thoughts, feelings and “self-talk.”

Have you ever had the experience where you are talking with someone and you think you are being clear and thorough in explaining yourself and at the end of your discussion, the person you are talking to looks at you quizzically and asks, “What do you mean?”

As a working mom I feel sometimes like my life is one big race to the finish line. Only every day, it seems like the line keeps moving and I never actually get to finish!

I’ve become very good at time management – I have developed a number of effective ways to get everything done and I even teach workshops on the topic. Many people ask me, “How do you do it all?” They marvel at all I can accomplish and still manage to keep a small portion of my sanity.

In many different situations this week, while playing the role of Interested Observer, I’ve been noticing how everyone from young children to older adults has an opinion about what someone else should – or should not – be doing: “She shouldn’t wear that outfit.” “He must be crazy to have that job.” “They don’t care about their house at all – look at that lawn!”
 

 This week I had the pleasure of teaching a class at Brookline Adult Education on “Dealing with Difficult People.” Predictably, every participant comes in looking for the “secret” to turn that difficult person into someone they want to deal with! The fun part of the process is when they have the ah-huh!

My 11 year old son is very insightful and thoughtful. The other day he informed me that he is “not cool” and therefore could not participate in the talent show event at his elementary school. I asked him how he knew he wasn’t “cool.” He answered that “everyone knows who is cool and who is not, mom.”