Stop Doing that with Your Values

I have a new client that recently acquired another company. They are trying to integrate practices, ideas and ways to work together by bringing two separate units together into one. As I work with the management of this newly combined company, I am reminded again how critical knowing another person’s values and trying to refrain from making a “values” argument really is.

In this case, the leaders of the existing firm are high on the Theoretical scale. People who have the theoretical value are oftentimes very smart people. They love to learn – love to ponder – love to investigate and enjoy new information. When this value is number one, it can be hard for someone to make a decision because the intellectual exercise of learning and thinking is enough in and of itself!

Contrast this with the high Utilitarian value that I possess – and most of my clients also possess. This is the ROI (return on investment) value. I’m a very successful consultant because I emphasize doing only those things that will return value to my clients – and doing them in a time-efficient and effective manner. I’m also number-two Theoretical, so I don’t want to do things I’m not knowledgeable about but I like to learn – and then act!

In the case of my client, they also possess a high Social value. This is the “do-good” value, so they are very keen to be sure that all decisions will have a mostly positive impact on the employees of the newly combined firm. They don’t want anyone to lose a job, even though there is a great deal of redundancy all over the new organization.

So in my consultant role I am left with a quandary. I want to make decisions and help move things along – and the employees seem to want this, too. But management wants to be more thoughtful and consider many options before they act. I’m trying to find ways to organize the firm most effectively, but I have to do it with two people in many roles so as to avoid leaving anyone out in the cold!

I applaud the values these managers hold and believe in them too, but I find myself getting into trouble every time I want to make a decision. One leader calls me “pushy” in my approach. So I am reminded of the importance of values – while almost everyone I work with values what I value, I find myself in new territory with several leaders who don’t hold my number-one value at all.

It forces me to reconsider how I make a suggestion, or what steps I take and how fast I take them. I realize that the ultimate goal is to give this company what they need, and what will work for them – not for me. I must keep stepping back and questioning what I am doing, asking myself “Who needs this – me or them?” If it seems like it is my value pushing in, I have to regroup and re-examine what I am proposing and make sure it fits their value framework.

Situations like this are very helpful for me because they force me to practice many of the techniques I espouse. In this case, I am finding myself in a consistent “Interested Observer” mode trying to see how what I say is received – and when it isn’t received --  trying to find another way to be helpful.

Be watchful of values disconnects. When someone accuses you of something, or doesn’t seem to understand what you are saying or doing, it’s oftentimes because you are acting from values that matter to you – and they may be different values from the person observing you and your decisions. Values run very deep – we can’t change them, but we can be aware of them. In all communication with others, awareness alone is a gift we can give.